Itsy Bitsy Spider
by RisemboolRanger
Summary: All secret agents have skeletons in their closet and Loren is no different. She's used to acting as a double agent in order to hide her secrets, but her newest mission is much bigger than anyone anticipated. Will she be able to keep fooling everyone or will her new team finally make her crack? Casey/OC


"We are doomed to fail."

"What are you yappering on about now, Bartowski?"

"I'm talking about _you_. You tackled a pizza delivery guy right on our doorstep!" Chuck reminded the man who'd caused something of a stir at his home last night.

"That kid hadn't been checked for weapons or explosive devices," said Casey, not even looking up from the computer screen that he was currently surveying. "And he had an unidentified, electronically-produced heat source in his pocket."

"Which you learnt afterwards was a Nintendo 3DS with the power left on," Chuck pointed out condescendingly.

Casey shrugged. "Better to be safe than sorry. No harm done."

"No harm done?! The guy had a broken pinkie and there's now four cheeses all over our wallpaper!"

"Collateral damage," Casey grunted.

Seeing the exasperated look on Chuck's face, Sarah quickly cut in. "You have been going a little overboard lately, Casey."

Casey wasn't in the least bit offended. "I'm just doing my job."

"Well, you're not doing very good at it," said Chuck, trying to ignore the death glare that Casey was now giving him. "I'm amazed your cover's even holding up still."

"Relax, Bartowski. Keeping your cover is the easiest part of the job."

"Then you're a bad spy," Chuck chastised. "Not you, Sarah," he quickly added to the blonde, who shrugged indifferently to cover a small smile, before turning back to Casey. "Ellie and Awesome are already starting to question why you're always around."

"I work at the Buy More and I live on the other side of the courtyard to you. It's not that weird."

"It is when you're throwing pizzas around our hallway!"

"Your cover _is_ shakier than mine," Sarah agreed. The whole pizza incident really had been a bit of a fiasco.

Casey shot her one of his killer stares. "Siding with him now, are we?"

Sarah coolly ignored the implication. "I'm just saying that you should be careful. As Chuck's girlfriend, my cover is pretty solid. More so than yours."

"I've covered work and living location. Short of trying it on with his sister there isn't much more I can do," said Casey.

"You wouldn't..." said Chuck, outraged.

Casey actually looked amused. "Why; would it piss you off?"

"_Yes_, it would!" Chuck exclaimed. "Plus she already has a boyfriend in case you forgot!"

"He's small fry. I could take him easily," Casey commented.

"_No_. No, no, you will not 'take' anyone!" Chuck protested, even though a tiny part of him was intrigued to see how a fight between Casey and Captain Awesome would go down. Casey may have been a trained special agent, but Chuck had seen Devon perform one too many pull-ups from the ceiling to not have faith in him too.

"Cut it out, Casey," said Sarah, who could tell that he was purely trying to get a rise out of Chuck.

"I'm kidding. Like I'd want _him_ for a brother-in-law anyway," said Casey, jabbing a thumb towards Chuck.

"Oh, that's so funny I forgot how to laugh," Chuck replied sarcastically.

"Why don't you run along now anyway, Bartowski? We have work to do," said Casey, turning his attention back to the computer screen.

As Sarah mirrored his movement, realisation dawned over Chuck. "Wait, are you guys going on a mission tonight?"

"Well done. Maybe you're smarter than you look after all," said Casey shortly, pulling up an image on the screen.

Chuck's head suddenly swam and his eyelids drooped slightly as the picture of the man on the screen registered somewhere deep in his subconscious. A series of images flickered through his mind as he accessed the relevant information that was prompted by that first picture.

"Fulcrum agent, Leonard Helberg. Been wanted by the US government for almost eight years now. He's a bomb specialist, thought to have aided the vigilante group of terrorists in Minsk, Russia four years ago," he recited, as clearly as if he'd just read it from a textbook.

"We already know all of that," Casey dismissed him, clicking onto the next screen. It listed a whole page of information, including all of what Chuck had just said. "We've been tracking this guy for years now. _And_ we know where he's going to be tonight."

"I can still come with you," Chuck volunteered. "Maybe I'll flash on something else that you don't know."

"No thanks," said Casey gruffly. "If I have a chance to go on a mission _without_ you then nothing is gonna change that."

Okay, Chuck could see that Casey was clearly a lost cause. As usual. He turned to Sarah instead. "Sarah?"

Sarah carefully avoided looking at him. "I'm sorry, but I think it's better if you sit out on this one. We believe he may have the prototype for a new nuclear weapon hidden somewhere. It's too dangerous for you to get involved."

"Oh come on, how about if I just stay in the car?" Chuck suggested instead.

Casey looked at him as if he'd just sprouted a second head. "When do you _ever_ stay in the car?"

"Hey, there's a first time for everything, right?" Chuck joked lightly.

"Sorry Chuck," said Sarah, cutting across him. "It's just not happening. Not this time."

"Fine..." Chuck conceded reluctantly. He'd thought that the days of being left out of the group activities would have ended with high school... But apparently not.

XXX

Chuck got home to find Devon trying to scrub salami stains off the wall in the hallway. He was pretty sure that it was a scene that nobody else had ever witnessed before. He was also sure that nobody else had ever gotten first-degree burns from hot cheese. Trying to catch a flying pizza apparently wasn't as clever an idea as he'd first thought in the heat of the moment.

"Hey bro," Devon greeted him. "No hostile house guests today?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Chuck apologised. "Casey's kind of an odd guy... But he means well." He refrained from adding an 'I think' to the end of his sentence.

"It's cool, bro," said Devon, perfectly laidback as usual. "I never liked this wallpaper anyway. You may just need to sweet talk your sister a little more though."

"Duly noted."

Ellie Bartowski could be a very frightening woman when she wanted to be. He'd need to proceed with caution for this... He left Devon to his scrubbing and found Ellie lounging on the couch and watching TV in the sitting room, still in her scrubs from work.

"Hey..." he said hesitantly.

"Hey," Ellie replied without looking away from the TV set.

Chuck sat down beside her. "I'm sorry about last night, El. And Casey says he's sorry too."

"It's not just about last night," said Ellie, still not looking at him. "I just want you to respect our home a little more and think about who you invite here. I've had to put up with Morgan for the last twenty-four years and that was doable. But you've also brought a drunken and unconscious colleague here before now... And I definitely don't want to have to put up with someone who's going to start fights in our own home."

"He wasn't starting a fight; it was just a misunderstanding," Chuck corrected her.

"Then it sounds like he misunderstands a lot of things. Morgan told me that he's knocked a customer unconscious at the Buy More on two separate occasions," Ellie pointed out disapprovingly.

"...Actually he bumped that total up to three yesterday when someone tried to steal an iPod Touch," Chuck confessed. "But you don't have to worry about Casey, I swear. He only has good intentions."

"But don't you think it's weird that he hangs around you so much?" asked Ellie. "Even when you're with Sarah, he still seems to be there a lot of the time!"

Damn... Chuck hadn't realised quite how much his sister had picked up on. This was exactly the kind of compromise to Casey's cover that he'd been talking about earlier. And he wasn't quite sure how he was going to talk his way around it. "He just... likes to be involved, that's all."

"And that's not weird?" Ellie pressed. "Why would he want to be a third wheel anyway?"

"He's not a third wheel; he just wants to stay buddies with both of us," said Chuck, trying to sound offhand.

But it was too late. Ellie had latched on and she wasn't buying it. "But _why_ is he trying so hard? Why is it so important?"

"Look Ellie, the truth is..." Chuck quickly racked his brains for a light-bulb moment, his gaze drifting towards the TV screen. It was showing some kind of mindless sitcom, with four too-perfect friends on a too-perfect double date. The light-bulb clicked on without him barely realising. "The truth is that Casey's involved with one of Sarah's friends... And he wants us all to double date."

"Wait, are you saying that Casey has a girlfriend?" asked Ellie, surprised.

"Err... Apparently," Chuck choked out.

Now this was exactly why men couldn't and _shouldn't_ try to multi-task. That definitely wasn't what Chuck had intended to say - the words had just fallen out before he'd even realised what he'd said. Watching TV and trying to have a conversation at the same time clearly wasn't a good idea.

"Oh... And you say she's one of Sarah's friends?"

"That's what I said," Chuck conceded grudgingly, still internally kicking himself. He had a feeling that this was all going to go horribly wrong.

"Huh." Ellie still seemed taken aback by the horrendous lie of a revelation, but she managed to regain her composure quite quickly. "Then in that case why don't I cook dinner for the six of us on Friday?"

"Wait... wait, what?" spluttered Chuck, confused by the sudden turn of conversation. "The six of us?"

"Yeah. Me and Devon, you and Sarah, Casey and his girlfriend," said Ellie. "If the reason Casey's been acting so crazy really is because he's just trying to get you all to get along better, then why don't I just make things easier?"

"Oh, no, it's okay... You don't have to do that," Chuck hedged. _Why_ did his sister have to be such a sucker when it came to helping out other couples?

"It's fine," Ellie assured. "We haven't all sat down to eat together in a while. And maybe a more civilised group date will stop Casey from feeling the need to knock pizza guys around."

"That's... that's great," Chuck lied between his teeth. "Thanks sis."

That was it - he was totally screwed. Not to mention a dead man. Casey was seriously going to kill him when he found out... Way to go, Chuck.

XXX

To Chuck's amazement, Casey was surprisingly calm when the three of them met up at the base the following morning and everything was explained. "Well there you go - you have the cover that you wanted. Now you just have to tell her that I can't do Friday. It's not rocket science."

Ah, so the reason he was calm was because he didn't fully understand the situation. "You don't get it. This is my sister we're talking about," Chuck pointed out. "If I tell her that you can't do Friday then she'll want to do Saturday. Or Sunday. Or Monday... Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"I know the days of the week, moron," Casey growled. "Why's it such a big deal to her anyway?"

"I don't know; she's always had these high ideals about romance. I think she just likes to get involved and help match-make or something..."

"It's true," Sarah agreed. "She wanted me to have dinner with all of them literally within days of hearing about me."

"Yeah, she's not gonna let this drop," Chuck continued. "Plus you live right opposite us, so she'll find ways to pester you about it too."

"Why is it always you who gets us knee-deep in this crap?" Casey complained.

"Well maybe if you didn't act like such an uncontrollable brute then I wouldn't have to lie for you."

"Why don't we speak to General Beckman about it?" Sarah interrupted loudly to get both of their attentions. "We may be able to get some outside help on this to strengthen Casey's cover."

"You mean get someone to pose as Casey's girlfriend?" asked Chuck sceptically, eyebrows raised. "Hey, wait, what about Carina? She already knows you guys - I'm sure she'd be happy to play along."

"We can't bring another agent in on the mission as we choose just because you screwed up, moron," said Casey, who didn't seem very impressed by the idea.

"Plus Carina's already busy with a different mission," Sarah added. When Chuck gave her a questioning look she said, "What? We have our own ways of keeping in touch."

"Fine, then talk to Beckman," Chuck conceded. Great. Bring someone else in on his idiotic lie...

"I tell you what; we'll even let _you_ tell her the story," said Casey amusedly.

"Oh yay, thanks for that," replied Chuck sarcastically.

Casey helpfully set up a secure video call to General Beckman, who Chuck then had to awkwardly relay the story to. As expected, she did not look impressed. Though to be fair, she never looked impressed about anything. Chuck was still determined to get a smile out of her one day... Just clearly not today.

"And why exactly did you tell this ridiculous lie and compromise Major Casey's cover in the process?" Beckman enquired sternly.

"Err, actually I was _helping_ his cover," Chuck corrected her. "My sister was asking a lot of questions about why he's around so much... so I told her the first thing I could think of. In order to throw her off."

Beckman turned her scrutinising gaze onto Casey. "Is this true, Major? Was your cover already in danger?"

"Not necessarily true," said Casey smoothly. "All relative incidents were simply blown out of proportion."

"Out of proportion?" Chuck protested. "Maybe for you, but for a normal person they were perfectly _in_ proportion!"

"Hey, it's not my fault if your sister's a busybody who likes to weasel her way into everyone else's lives."

"Don't even try and involve my sister. This never would have happened if you were taught how to be more civilised in social situations!"

"Well maybe _you_ should be taught how to lie better under pressure. Or better yet, not to say anything at all!"

"_Enough_!" Beckman shouted over the two of them. "Mr. Bartowski, I hope you realise how vitally important these agents' covers are if you want them to be around to protect you."

That shut Chuck up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"_If_ there's the slightest possibility that Major Casey's cover has been compromised, then it must be fixed immediately," Beckman continued. "I'm reluctant to pull him from this mission just yet, if it can be helped."

"So what are you suggesting, General?" Casey asked.

"I will be assigning another agent to Operation Bartowski," Beckman decided. "A female agent, of course. Her primary role will be to help strengthen your cover so that there are no more suspicions. Though I'm starting to suspect that an extra set of hands on this project may be beneficial after all... In which case she will also be requested to join you and Agent Walker on further missions. She will be transferred in tomorrow."

And with that the call cut off, leaving a blank screen. It didn't take a genius to know that General Beckman wasn't one for niceties.

Casey turned to glare at Chuck. "Thanks a lot, Bartowski. Now not only do I have to play happy neighbour and happy colleague, I also have to play happy families with you all too."

"Yeah, I really am sorry about that..." Chuck started, but Casey just growled and roughly pushed past him.

Chuck chose to bite his tongue. What he didn't add was that it wasn't really Casey he felt sorry for. Instead he felt much more sorry for the poor agent who he'd be playing happy families with... Somehow he didn't think it would be much fun to be Mrs. Tackles-Pizza-Delivery-Guys.

**XXX**

**Author's Note!**

So I was in dire need of a new show to obsess over with the upcoming finale to Psych (sob). I'm really quite awkward with TV shows. I rarely ever watch TV so it's really hard to hook me in enough to keep me watching something!

Chuck was always something that had been on the cards, because Zachary Levi. Enough said. And of course from the moment I started watching I absolutely fell in love with the entire show. It was genuinely exactly the kind of show I was looking for! (even if it's still not Psych). First thing I ask though is please no spoilers! I've only just started season three xD

Of course after I started watching these ideas soon followed. I just can't help myself! This was SO SO SO much fun to write! Chuck and Casey are an absolute blast to work with xD I loved writing Chuck's flash too and I'm looking forward to doing more of them! This is set in the early seasons, obviously. Although Super Chuck and the new intersect is totally awesome, I still love the whole Chuck-who's-supposed-to-stay-in-the-car-but-never-does.

Since this will be more of a Casey-centric story I figured I'd do a play on the chapter titles/ This is also the first whole chapter I've ever written to anything that hasn't had any OCs pop up. Pretty impressive when you consider the majority of my writing base! Of course she'll be appearing in the next chapter though ;D


End file.
